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20 February, 2012

Moseying

Hello all! 

Nothing really dramatic to talk about... thank goodness. Things have actually been really great. I was really frustrated with myself about dropping "Culture and Change: India" for a while, but... well, I think it was really for the best. It's given me a lot more time to concentrate on my other classes (which have been going wonderfully), and to find other ways of getting meals this semester.

I've been modeling for my friend Elizabeth, who is an art major, concentrating in photography. In exchange, she's been getting me dinner, but honestly, I'd do it for free. It's a lot of fun for both of us. She just sent me a few of the photos from earlier this month...












There have been some... interesting projects she's had to do. One of them required that she create something with the theme of "camp"("Camp" in the 1960's Batman, or in the Rocky Horror Picture Show sense, apparently), which resulted in this:


Though I think my favorite has been last week's assignment. As you will probably be able to tell, we basically covered my face in several layers of red paint. 


















More to come soon, I hope. In the meantime, I've just been... really happy. A lot more balanced, in any case. In control. Life goes on.


My love to all,
Tasha


04 February, 2012

Big Snow

It's snowing big here in Baltimore... not in that we're getting a lot of snow. Just in that the snow that started coming down about half and hour ago is falling in these really gigantic clumps. And it is so beautiful. Snow is so special to me, for some reason... I feel a lot of things about it that sound sort of silly, so I'll skip that. It's just so nice to finally see snow sticking on the ground. It didn't snow until my last day in New York, and the past few weeks in Baltimore have been unseasonably warm, even for Maryland... we had a few 60F days. I wasn't pleased.

Well, in any case, Oxford has been an ongoing process, so I won't say much about that right now. Very basically, I've filled out my forms for requesting courses, and I should know what college I'm at by the beginning of March. I know I said I would know about that a few weeks ago, but of course, there was a whole other part of applying to Oxford that I didn't know about that came after actually getting into the program, so that's been occupying quite a bit of my time over the past few weeks. But! In the meantime, here are the courses I've signed up for:

History of the British Isles 1685-Present
Theories of State
Nationalism in Western Europe, 1799-1890
Intellect and Culture in Victorian Britain
The Science of Society 1650-1800
Revolution and Empire in France, 1789-1815
The Romance of the People: The Folk Revival from 1760 to 1914
The Metropolitan Crucible: London 1685-1815
Imperialism and Nationalism 1830-1980
Historiography

I won't be taking all of these-- I'll get into six of them, and take two per term. So, we'll see what happens with that!

In the meantime, I'm taking six 200-level classes. Which, just about two weeks in, is already seeming like a very bad idea. I haven't slept in three days, and instead of catching up on sleep this weekend, I stayed up to watch a 4-hour movie for "Culture and Change: India," which I have to write a pretty short paper on. It's not the paper that bothers me-- it's that I had to stay up to watch a four-hour movie. And this is basically the idea of the class.  So. I still have four essays to write, two books to finish, and my Cryptology assignments to do.

I don't mean for that to sound as whiny as it does, and if I were doing this any other semester besides this one, I would just push though it. But... well. I've been trying to get better about knowing when to stop myself with these sorts of things, and I think this is really a point at which I need to swallow my pride and... well. Take care of things. I was talking to Professor Fraser the other day-- I went to visit her in her office. It was really nice, to just sit down and have a long chat-- and she told me that she was proud and excited for me (things I think every student wants to hear from their favorite professor), but that I shouldn't feel like I need to push myself so hard this semester. She said that if I needed to drop a class, I'd still be able to graduate early, and it would be better than burning myself out just in time to get to Oxford. I also talked to one of my senior friends this morning... she told me she was worried when she heard how much I was taking, and that this wasn't the semester for me to "kill [my]self with work," as she puts it.

So, while it pains me to do so (and I mean that), I'm dropping "Culture and Change: India."

It's not that it's a difficult class, particularly, though perhaps I shouldn't judge after just two classes, but it's certainly problematic in terms of the timing and the set-up of the course in general. It is held on Tuesdays, from 7.00pm to 9.30pm. Not ideal, but if it were twice I week, I could deal with it. As it is, it is only held once a week, and we spend most of the time watching Bollywood movies. I have no interest, to be honest-- at least, not enough interest to spend all of my "free" time finishing the movies so I can write one-page papers on them. (Really. If I'm going to watch a four-hour movie, I'd better be doing it to write at least a four-page paper.) The way I see it, I can take it during my senior year, when I'll be able to take it with Sara and hopefully have a little energy back. In addition... while I really loved last semester, it was rough. And while I'm sure I'll love Oxford, I'm just as sure that it will be even rougher. So, as I've been told, it's not worth me burning myself out now. Maybe I need a bit of a lull.

Maybe I don't have to explain myself so much, though... I've found more and more that my expectations for myself far outstrip those of most of the adults in my life. It's bizarre. I know, intuitively, that just taking five classes is the best thing for me at this point-- honestly, there is no down-side to any of this-- but I still feel the urge to just push through the six classes. I'm extremely reluctant to admit defeat, I suppose. And so early in... but, I have to make the decision now. Monday is the last day I have to drop classes without it showing up on my transcript, and I know the situation would be even worse if I had to worry about that.

I hope all of that made sense... again, I haven't slept, so I apologize in advance for any unintelligible sentences.

But I'm making it sound as if the past few weeks have been nothing but angst... for the most part, things have been pretty good. Winter break felt very short comparred to last year, but it was far busier in general.




It's been nice to be back at Goucher, on the whole. Of course, there's everything I just spewed, and there's the typical drama of living with 1400-odd other people between the ages of 18 and 22, but really... it's been good. I may have already mentioned this, but one of my best friends, Sara, is studying abroad in Costa Rica this semester. I sort of expected to miss her, but... well. It's been difficult. We became very close last semester, and being without her is painful. I miss her. But I suppose the only thing to do is to keep busy-- which I've been doing. All of my classes (aside from the obvious one) are fantastic. Professor Beachy, the head of the History Department and my professor for Modern German History and Social Theory in Historical Context is just so fun to be taught by... our relationship thus far has basically consisted of making faces at each other during class, and talking about what courses I'm taking at Oxford this year. I also have Material Culture and England & Colonial America with Professor Sheller-- my advisor for the Historic Preservation minor. I've always liked her personally, but I have to say she's a much better history professor than historic preservation professor. We're reading Albion's Seed: Four British Folkways in America, by David Hackett Fischer (whose name I know I have seen before somewhere, and frequently) among other things, though I'm finding this book particularly fascinating... I'm also taking Cryptology with Professor Lewand to take care of my math requirement, and I am loving it. It's very addictive, actually...

Otherwise, I've been trying to keep my social life together, really. I wish I could say that this is what has been keeping me busy, but most of it has consisted of getting together with my friends and doing homework while they goof off. Not that I'm complaining.



Well, more to come soon, hopefully! I'm off to try to take a nap before I try to get some of these papers done... my love to all!
Tasha

05 January, 2012

Last time, on "Adventures and Such"...

Hello all! I know this post is coming embarrassingly late... the past semester has been extremely busy, and hopefully I'll be able to catch everybody up on it.

Where to begin... well. I suppose I'll start by saying that I spent most of the semester driving myself crazy over everything, and either I really shouldn't have worried so much, or all the worrying paid off, because I got all As and A-s, and I made the Dean's List again! I ended up raising my GPA average, when I thought it was going to be falling below what would be accepted for the Oxford program. So. That's been the good news of the past two weeks. I'm supposed to know if I get the Oxford scholarship within the next two days, so... we'll see what happens. I'm very excited, but I don't find myself to be very nervous, which surprises me. I suppose I've sort of realized that there's nothing more I can do, and that I have a back-up plan that I would love just as much as Oxford. That back-up plan is the University of Saint Andrews in Scotland. If I go there, it will be for a year, same as Oxford, though because it is not a scholarship, I wouldn't have to go through this application process again... thank goodness. That was responsible for at least three quarters of my stress this semester.

Of course, we had to fill out forms and provide two letters of recommendation. I got mine from Professor Fraser (my advisor, who I adore even more than I did last year, if that is possible) and Professor Sheller, and according to the people who interviewed me (I'll get to that later), the recommendations were "glowing," so... that was covered easily enough. We also had to write an essay about why we wanted to study abroad at Oxford, which I got done with much feedback from my parents and friends. The interview went well, I thought... it was with the Provost and the Associate Dean of International Studies, and I was extremely relieved and pleased to find that most of the questions were about what I was studying. So, most of the interview was spent talking about my 30-page research paper for my senior seminar on Stalinism.

Speaking of Stalinism... what a fantastic class. I absolutely loved it, and I loved writing my paper. I'm not sure if I had my topic the last time I wrote here, but I'll explain it just in case. Very basically, I wrote about how many aspects of Stalinism have roots in Enlightenment philosophy, particularly in that of Jean-Jacques Rousseau. I've been told it's a rather strange idea, and I suppose it is-- though it doesn't seem that way to me. Most likely because this paper has been my life for the last three or four months. Anyway. If anybody has any interest in reading it, I'll be happy to email it on-- I'm quite happy with it, but I don't think I'll be able to post all 30-ish pages of it here. I'll tack the introduction of it onto the end of this post, though. It gets the general idea across better than I have in the past few sentences.

Funnily enough, Stalinism was the class that caused me the least stress. Next would have to be Imperial Russian History, also with Professor Fraser. My class on the American Revolution, with Professor Hale, ended up going very well, after the initial hitch of the B- paper that I mentioned in my last post. Even that got turned around-- I talked to him, and he agreed to let me do a re-write, and I ended up with a grade of B+ on that paper. I completely made up for it with my second and final paper... I don't think even Professor Fraser has ever been as impressed with one of my papers as Professor Hale was with that one. That being said, things were a bit up-and-down in that class, even though I really enjoyed it, and loved the professor. He was really good to me: very interested in and understanding of what was going on in terms of Oxford, and offering to help in any way he could, etc.... I really hope I have another class with him before I leave Goucher.

My Archaeology of Text class was a lot of fun, even though I don't think any of us (including Professor Sanders) knew what we were doing most of the time... if the situation had been different, I probably would have been very frustrated with it, but this was supposed to be a "fun" class for me, so it was really perfect. I got to exercise the 17th-19th-century handwriting powers I developed at the Historical Society, and I did my final project on the writing systems created by J.R.R. Tolkien and their use in The Hobbit, which the Goucher Special Collections has a 1938 edition of. So, basically, I talked about runes, Anglo-Saxon, and John Mitchell Kemble (Kemble was one of the first Englishmen to study the Anglo-Saxon period and language in an organized way, and his works are seen as somewhat of a foundation of the modern study of the culture. The Goucher Special Collections has some of his journals, and even a few of the sketchbooks he took to museums and sites, which I also made use of).



A selection from one of Kemble's notebooks, and a page from The Runes of the Anglo-Saxons, published in 1840.

We had some really fantastic field trips in that class as well... we went to the Evergreen Museum and Library (http://www.museums.jhu.edu/evergreen.php) to see the John Work Garrett Library, which I believe has one of the biggest collections of incunabula (printed books pre-1500) in the United States. We also visited the Walters Art Museum, where an exhibit on the Archimedes Palimpsest was being shown, and got a private tour from William Noel... (http://thewalters.org/exhibitions/archimedes/

As for my anthropology class... well. If I hadn't just gotten an A- for it, I would have told you it was horrifying. In light of recent information, however, I'll go with "exceedingly frustrating." Most of the assignments for this class were meant to act as steps leading up to our final research paper, to be handed in at the end of the semester. For example: my first big assignment was to write a preliminary bibliography, which I did fine on. My second assignment was to write an introduction, which I got an alarmingly low grade on. Because of the way my schedule worked out this semester, it wasn't possible for me to stay after class to talk to the professor (Professor Frekko), so I emailed her asking if I could meet with her. It took her two weeks to respond, and tell me that she wouldn't be able to meet with me for another week. Then, she missed our appointment. When I finally did get to talk to her, she told me that she didn't like my topic, and that I would have to change it. I ended up changing my topic at least twice. I was genuinely worried about my grades for this class, especially since they seemed so arbitrary... of course, I'm not saying that I was a total victim here. After a while, I really stopped putting as much effort into the class as I should have, and I just didn't (and still do not, to some degree) know how to write an anthropology paper. It's a totally different format from what I'm used to, and I didn't bother finding that out until we were half-way through the semester. Thankfully, one of my good friends, Sara, is an Anthropology and Environmental Science double-major, and she helped me out a lot with that. But for a while, I was convinced that this class was going to cost me Oxford... well. If I don't get in, I won't be able to blame the class, I suppose.

Anyway. I'm signed up for all my classes for next semester now. They are as follows:

Social Theory in Historical Context (Professor Beachy)
England and Colonial America: 1600-1763 (Professor Sheller)
Cryptology (Professor Lewand)
Modern German History: From Unification to Unification (Professor Beachy)
Historical Archaeology and Material Culture (Professor Sheller)
Culture and Change: India (Professor Kirmani)

Yes. That's six classes. (I must really like driving myself insane.)

...and this has been an extremely brief account of my academic life over the past semester! I often joke that I don't have any other life, and that's not so far from the truth. But I have managed to keep together some sort of social life. My friends have been very good about letting me do what I need to do, but also telling me when I need to take a break.


Halloween (not that I actually had a costume or did anything festive...)


Visiting the stables


Working on the TARDIS! (For those of you who don't know, my social life basically revolves around the people I've met in Doctor Who Club, for whatever reason. To be fair, Doctor Who Club has basically become "Let's all get together and talk about Sherlock and The Lord of the Rings" Club. It's much more a group of friends than an actual club that has any focus anymore... but anyway. The "TARDIS" is basically a time/spaceship, and we're building a life-sized model of it.)


It seems to be just one of the facts of life at Goucher that as soon as one gets really settled and comfortable, things get upturned again. Everybody is always sort of coming and going... My friend Sara, who I've only really gotten close to this semester, is leaving for her required study abroad in Costa Rica in a few days... I won't see her again until this summer, and then I'll be away for all of our junior year... the study abroad requirement is a fantastic opportunity, and I know we'll all be very happy with our experiences, but... well. As Sara put it, "I came to Goucher because of the study abroad requirement, and now it's ruining my life." But I suppose I shouldn't focus on that. I've met some great new people this semester, and all being said, I have to consider myself pretty lucky.

I'm afraid that's a pretty basic summary of the past semester... it feels like September was such a long time ago. There really is too much to tell.

I will post again as soon as I have news from Oxford, which should be in the next two days... in the meantime, it's a relief to be back in New York and to have a bit of a break before next semester. Not that the break has been uneventful... well. I'll save it for the next post. Until then, my love to all!

Tasha

ps. For anybody who is interested, the introduction to the Stalinism paper follows...
~~~


The General Will:
Rousseau and the Enlightenment Roots of Stalinism

“The citizen gives his consent to all the laws, including those which are passed in spite of his opposition, and even those which punish him when he dares to break any of them. The constant will of all the members of the State is the general will; by virtue of it they are citizens and free. …all the qualities of the general will… reside in the majority: when they cease to do so, whatever side a man may take, liberty is no longer possible.” – J. J. Rousseau[1]

“There is no, nor should there be, irreconcilable contrast between the individual and the collective, between the interests of the individual person and the interests of the collective. There should be no contrast, because collectivism, socialism, does not deny, but combines individual interests with the interests of the collective. Socialism cannot abstract itself from individual interests. Socialist society alone can most fully satisfy these personal interests. More than that; socialist society alone can firmly safeguard the interests of the individual.” – J. Stalin[2]

The eighteenth century Enlightenment, at its simplest, can be seen as the application of new scientific methods to problems outside the realm of pure science. Enlightenment thinkers asked themselves many of the same questions: What is man like in a state of nature? How did government come about? How should man be governed, and what legitimizes a government? What does it mean to be a citizen? What should society be like? The philosophes of the eighteenth century came up with many different answers, and the fact that these were sometimes then acted upon in some very dramatic ways makes the Enlightenment a huge turning point in European history. What is just as significant is that the same questions were being asked and answered long after the eighteenth century, and into the twentieth.
Stalinism, like many of the philosophies coming out of the Enlightenment, draws on a somewhat strange mix of utopianism and rationalism. In this mindset, it is possible to use science and reason to understand human society, and therefore to shape perfect human beings, and a perfect society. However, Stalinism was not simply attempting to answer the same questions with the same tools as the Enlightenment—it also drew on, however unintentionally or indirectly, the actual ideas that came out of the Enlightenment. Because the Soviet Union drew on different Enlightenment traditions than many Western societies have, it is too easy to see what happened there as alien—as a Russian phenomenon that happened completely out of context with the rest of the continent. However, if one looks closely, one can see that Stalinism is the result of a long line of adaptations and combinations of Enlightenment ideas.
This essay will look at the influence of Jean-Jacques Rousseau in particular. He represents an Enlightenment tradition seen as somewhat outside the mainstream of Voltaire and salon culture, though his is still one of the most well known names associated with the Enlightenment. He has been seen as an intellectual godfather to many movements beyond the eighteenth century, from Romanticism to Communism to Anarchism. However, it should be emphasized that this view is very simplistic. Instead of perpetuating this view, this essay will attempt to explore the adaptations and borrowings that occurred between 1750, when Rousseau published his Discourse on the Arts and Sciences, and Stalin’s rule. What appears to have survived best are ideas about the general will, virtue, and the belief that multiple interest groups are dangerous to society. This is very much connected to the acceptability of using violence to achieve certain ends, and the use of state terror by leaders influenced directly or indirectly by Rousseau. State terror, which has come to be associated with Stalinism, is at least partially the result of ideas surrounding the relationship between the government and the people that have been accumulating since the eighteenth century, and possibly earlier. The ideas of John Locke, as one of the earliest Enlightenment figures, and the adaptation of science to social problems (the creation of social science) will also be looked at in relation to Stalinism.


[1] Jean-Jacques Rousseau, “The Social Contract,” in The Social Contract and Discourses, trans. G.D.H. Cole (London: Everyman’s Library, 1973), 250.
[2] “Marxism versus Liberalism: An Interview with H.G. Wells: 23 July 1934,” Marxists Internet Archive.

20 September, 2011

Strange and Awkward Encounters with the History Department

Very bad news: I got the worst grade on a history paper on Monday that I've gotten since... Freshman year of high school? Earlier? Anyway. I was devestated. I'm still in shock mode, though I have to say I saw it coming... as contradictory as that seems...

Bad news: This grade was "only," as Kaira puts it, a "B-." And it counts as 15% of my grade. I need to get "A"s and "A+"s for the rest of the semester if I want to maintain/better my grade.

Okay news: I think I can do that.

Better news: The professor who gave me that grade spent most of his comments telling me how much he enjoyed the essay, how strong my writing is, and how much he liked most of the essay (except the bits where I got distracted).

Good news: I'm now officially a History major/Historic Preservation minor!

Best news: My favorite professor is now my advisor.

... I can't believe it's only Tuesday.

08 September, 2011

New York, Oxford, and Stalin

Well, I spent my first weekend back at Goucher in New York. And I'm very happy I made that decision. Quite a bit of my father's side of the family convened to celebrate my grandmother's birthday, and it was really wonderful to see everybody. Usually, we only see each other about twice a year, so it was great to have additional time (especially since Thanksgiving tends to be so rushed). I'm also glad I managed to miss the only wild partying Goucher has seen since 1885.

I have no idea what a "foam party" is meant to be. I only know I'm happy that I don't know.

Anyway. A quick update on the job front: it turns out that the Special Collections had already hired people for all their positions before they even interviewed me. I'm not sure what to make of that. Either they're particularly badly organized (like most of Goucher is), or... no. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's all it could be. In any case, I've been told that they'll get in touch with me if somebody leaves. As for the Library and the Career Development Office, things seem to be going along the same pattern as last year: "Oh, we're not sure yet. Keep checking back with us!"

... what?

I mean, if you're going to say "no," then just say "no!" So, needless to say, things are not looking promising. But as I'm sure I've already said on this blog (and if not, you may have heard this in person from either myself or my parents): I'm really not too bothered. I'm overwhelmed with work as it is-- and I don't mean to say that this is a bad thing. I just mean that I'd be very cautious about taking on even more work and responsibilities, and I'm not only refering to my classes. I'm also working on the process of declaring my major (just picked up the paperwork!), as well as that of applying to study abroad programs. I picked up some information on the Oxford program this afternoon, and signed up for an email notification when they have informational meetings about it. There isn't much else I can do with that right now, but it's going to get busy later in the semester. So all I can do for now is get as far ahead with my classes as I can, and make sure my grade does not fall below a 3.6 so I'll still have the Oxford program as an option by the end of all of this.

So. Stressed? Yes. Happiest person on the North American continent? Yes. Needless to say, my classes have been fantastic. My first batch of essays and papers are due early in the coming week, and although I've been working on them all week, it feels like it has been an exceptionally short week... I still have to finish my essay for my American Revolution class on "Early American" society, but I should be done fairly soon, and it isn't due until this coming Monday. I feel like I should be ready to tear my hair out, but instead, I just feel like I'm floating on top of everything. It's really bizzare. I've never used the world "stressed" to express a good feeling before, and I don't think many people have... which leads me to believe that I'm using the wrong word. I can't quite come up with the right one.

I was talking to Professor Fraser this morning, both before and after class. She asked me how I was doing in the seminar, and I told her I was really enjoying it, finding it interesting, and feeling challenged. All good things. We're doing alot of very theoretical readings, mostly on historiography, at this point, and she said that this was probably the most complicated the readings would be for the rest of the semester. I've been very struck this semester by how complicated history and the theory of history can be... honestly, I've been wondering how on earth professors come back from talking about these wonderfully complicated ideas in seminars and amongst each other, and teach survey courses, where they're basically lecturing: "So, then in 1848..." It seems so boring in comparison! Professor Fraser says it is a bit of a relief to come back and teach some more simple things sometimes, but having to gloss over so many things in survey classes can really be difficult... I can imagine.

Well. That's about it for now. I have to get back to that American Revolution essay.

My love to all,
Tasha

ps. I've been in a very Benjamin Britten mood lately, and this has been stuck in my head for days:

01 September, 2011

(Almost) One Week In...

So, my camera tells me that my "battery is exhausted," despite the fact that it has been charging for a week now. Looks like I need a new battery...? Anyway. I use this as an explaination for why I don't have pictures for you yet. In the meantime, I've had nearly a week of classes already!

It has been absolutely wonderful to be back, and in class again. Again, I have Professor Fraser for two classes (last semester it was European History and Soviet History. This semester I have her for Imperial Russian History, and for her senior seminar on Stalinism, which I will talk more about later), which has been very nice. Imperial Russian History seems like it is going to be a good class: I'm already half-way though a book that I'm not meant to be reading for another few weeks. I have my first essay on this book, and considering all the other work I have to do, I thought I should get as much of a head-start as possible. I have been spending litteraly all of my time with my nose stuck in some book or another, and I have to say it is great. I love feeling so consumed by something that nothing else matters... anyway. This book is actually a memoir by Princess Ekaterina Romanova Dashkova (1743-1810), translated and edited by Kyril Fitzlyon. She was instrumental in the revolt that deposed Peter III and put Catherine the Great on the throne, and was a close friend of the latter. She was very highly respected at the time, and I'm currently reading about her travels in Western Europe, and how she met Voltaire, Diderot, Necker, etc... it's really amazing that nobody remembers her now, actually. Most who know me probably know that I find what is being called "women's history" very boring, and far too political. But I honestly wish historians paid more attention Dashkova: she is absolutely fascinating! I won't give a summary... it would take far too long a time, but really, I would recommend reading her memoirs, if anybody has time for that sort of thing...

The seminar on Stalinism is, I will admit, intimidating. I am definitely the only sophomore there: there are a few juniors, but the majority by far are seniors, as the title of the class would indicate. It's difficult not to feel as if everybody is just waiting for me to drop out at times, but the good news is that so far, I have no inclination to do so. Looking at the syllabus is a bit overwhelming, but it seems do-able. It is only when I think of all the other classes I am taking, and all the other work I need to be doing that I get worried. But I think I'll be able to manage if I stay far enough ahead in my classes, in terms of work. Getting any reading that I can do out of the way will probably be most useful.

As for my other classes... well. I'm taking the Archaeology of Text, which is taught by Professor Arnie Sanders as a interdisciplinary class within the English department. I am absolutely loving it so far. On the first day, we recieved what he calls "cadaver books," which are basically books that we will be studying and working on throughout the semester, apparently the way medical students work with certain cadavers for an amount of time... mine is a little copy of "Paradise Lost," by John Milton, published by Robert and Andrew Foulis in Glasgow, 1766. It has lost its cover, but it is just... beautiful. And I get to spend my time this semester taking it apart and studying it! I didn't know I would be so genuinely excited about this, or the fact that we're going to have labs in this class, but there you are! Speaking of books and archives, etc., I've just come back from an interview at the Goucher Special Collections. The whole process of applying has been... urgh. Well. Let's simply say there were a few miscommunications that were entirely my fault. It didn't matter that much, but it still made me worry, as I tend to do. Anyway. The interview itself wasn't bad, but I really couldn't tell what the woman who was interviewing me was thinking... she took the time to show me around and such, and I got the feeling that she wouldn't have done that if she weren't thinking about hiring me, but... well. Again. I worry. We'll see what happens. But if I do get the job, I'll be helping put photos on the online catalogue, and typing in metadata, which isn't exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for, but if that's what they need done, that's just fine with me. Besides, if I finish, I may get to move on to projects dealing with the really old and interesting stuff. But I think I'm getting ahead of myself here... let's see if I get the job in the first place. I also applied for a position at the Main Library, and I should know about both that and the Special Collections early next week.

I am also taking a class on the American Revolution, taught by Professor Matthew Hale, which I am enjoying very much so far! On the first day, he had us introduce ourselves by giving our name, year, major, where we were from, and a grievance that we have about Goucher. I have never enjoyed a "let's get to know each other" session more. Needless to say, if very quickly became a lively conversation about how Community Living is never open, and how there are never any jobs available for students. Of course, I felt the need to be a bit different, so I said that my grievance was that I was being forced to have a grievance in the first place: despite Goucher's problems, I'm essentially alright with everything.

Professor Hale appreciated that.

My last class is Language Myths, an anthropology course taught by Professor Frekko. I'm not sure how fond I am of her yet, but the subject seems interesting. She has a tendency to turn everything into a Social Justice topic... I suppose that anthropology really is meant to be used for the betterment of humankind, etc., but I'd really like to learn the discipline before I go about applying it. Just saying. I think it would be awful to study anthropology as an undergraduate, and come out of school with only a basic understanding of the subject and an abundance of political opinions to show for it.

... I think there are a few students at Goucher who would argue with me on that, and very passionately. I would have to defer to them: Anthropology is not quite my subject, after all.

But I have to say that a connected problem/question has been bothering me for a while now... all summer, I suppose, but the question was actually put to me while I was in Cambridge, and the fact that I could not answer well is... well. Anyway, the question was "Why bother?" As in "Why bother studying history?"I know the answer I'm supposed to give: "To help humanity work through its darker moments, heal the wounds of the past, and prevent certain things from happening again." But honestly... that is not why I am studying history. If I were going to be perfectly honest, I would say "Because I love it, and because it has been the only thing capable of really holding my attention for longer than a few months." I wish I had more noble motivations. I really do, and I've been trying to find some over the past few weeks, and I've found myself incapable. Mostly. All I can really say in my defence is that history is intrinsically important: I cop-out, to be sure. But really... I must not be the only person who has an overwhelming fear of what would happen if the human species woke up tomorrow morning, and remembered none of it's history... it is so much a part of who we are, and what we do, from our politics to our everyday lives. History dictates (well, perhaps "dictate" is a bit of a strong word) everything from our foreign policies and what language we speak, to what we wear and what sports teams we support, in one way or another. It's one of the most important ways that we understand other cultures: something of increasing importance as people from all areas of the world become more closely connected. But in any case... one of the things that really scares/d me about Stalinism, and actually, about "Nineteen-Eighty-Four," (George Orwell) was the concept of having the past messed about with in general. I think that remembering is important for its own sake... not necessarily for a specific purpose...

...well. I'm still working on that thought. In the meantime, speaking of Stalinism, I have to go talk about the "totalitarian model" in seminar now. My love to all!

Tasha

ps. A photo kindly donated by Kaira...



26 August, 2011

"My Life with Kaira"

Hello all! Due to unforseen weather (Hurricane Irene), I'm back at Goucher two days early. Dad drove me down early this morning in order to avoid the storm, and it seems to have worked... and it seems that quite a few people had the same idea. Kaira got here about 30 minutes after I finished un-packing, my friend Jenny got here in the early afternoon, and Ellie and Kat are getting here tomorrow morning. It doesn't feel like a hurricane is about to blow though... it's actually quite sunny. It would be pleasant, if it weren't for the fact that it's very hot and very humid. Kaira brought a fan that actually works though, so the room isn't so bad. It's slightly smaller than last year, but I like it... it feels cozy. I'll take pictures once my camera has charged.

I've just gotten back from helping Jenny move in (I got to see a few other friends in the process, which was lovely), and I'm currenlty helping Kaira put her photos up on her wall. It's really starting to feel like home again... in any case. I'm on a a floor with both boys and girls, which could be... well, it could be fine, but it could also be a bit problematic. There are two showers on the floor, one of which is actually a tub (not preferable)... considering the times I tend to be awake, getting to the shower shouldn't be a problem: getting into a clean shower might be. But we'll see. I don't think most people are here yet...

Well. More to come soon, of course.

Until then, my love to all,
Tasha