Internships and Insecurities

Well, despite the fact that it is in the title, I really don't have any news on any internships yet. But it relates to what's been going on lately, because the whole "lets-make-plans-for-summer" thing has been taking up a rather large portion of the energy my brain has that isn't focused on classes. Most of you probably already know this, but when something big is left undecided, or unsure, I tend to think myself into a state of stress disproportionate to the sittuation. Right now, my summer plans seem completely fluid. I may be doing the Medieval Studies program at Cambridge, if I get an internship, and if I don't get an internship, I may be doing another program earlier in the summer at Cambridge, provided that there are still spots open, and if that doesn't pull through, I'll hopefully be taking classes at one of the colleges in New York, or elsewhere theoretically. Okay. All of this is purely theoretical. Which is my issue in the first place.

...I'm fairly sure this isn't a very healthy outlook on life. I'm going to have to get over this whole fear-of-the-undecided thing at some point.

Also, I got a B on a paper for Russian History. Not terrible, but it sort of dampens the sort of "I-can-do-anything" high I've been on for the past few weeks. Honestly, I wasn't expecting a fantastic grade on this one, seeing as I really don't know much about this period of Russian history, and have less outside information to draw on for these things. But still. And I don't mean for this to sound as if I'm saying that because I got one B, I'm having a mental break-down... my expectations aren't that high. Okay, that's a lie, my expectations are that high, but that's not the point. My point is that I'm not especially bothered by the grade. It just happened to come at a point when I'm worrying about whether or not I'm going to get an internship or not, and...

...anyway. Basically, I'm stressing myself about something I have no real reason to be stressing about. I think. I hope. I've also noticed a decreasing tolerance for socialization. As it currently stands, I'm hiding in my upcoming essays, and refusing to talk to anybody I don't need to.

...yeah. Moving on. It's a good thing Spring break is in two days.

Things have been pretty alright, other than everything I just talked about. The semester has been fairly easy in terms of workload, which I have greatly enjoyed rubbing in the faces of all my science-major friends. Which is pretty much all my friends, actually... Anyway. One of the great benefits of being a history major is that the only homework I ever get consists of reading and writing. Occasionally, it requires reading quite a bit, and writing quite a bit. Obviously, I understate. But it's really quite nice for somebody who enjoys that sort of thing, and especially nice for somebody who enjoys it and can do it quite quickly. Thankfully, that's me.

But anyway, that means I've had time to actually go to events and get off of campus a bit...

(Ellie, Sarah, and I at a lacrosse game.)

(...I really don't know how to explain this one.)

...I haven't actually gone anywhere very interesting, other than a Japanese restaurant and the local art supplies store. And my friend Jenny had to drag me out of the library for that trip, so it doesn't really count. I also got dragged out to a lacrosse game somehow... I'm still trying to figure out how that happened. It was fun though. And it took my mind off of a lot of things. Not really, but it helped.

As I mentioned earlier, Spring break is in two days, so hopefully I'll get to slow down and relax a little bit before finishing up the semester. (Yes. Finishing up the semester. I'm amazed that I can even use the phrase, but it's true... my last day is 12 May.) That being said, I don't really want to relax... I just want to get stuff sorted out. As soon as I know what I'm doing this summer, I can relax, but until then, I will continue to worry about it.

Well, sorry about the amount of blabbering in this post. I'll write again soon, and probably from New York!

My love to all,
Tasha

Visits and Papers

Well, it's been a long few weeks... I really dislike February. It is the shortest month of the year, in terms of actual days, but I don't think any month manages to drag on for this long...

Thankfully, I've had plenty to keep my spirits up. The weather in Baltimore gets warmer sooner than it does in New York... which I'm less happy about in autumn, but at around this time of year, it's wonderful. There's a bit of a shorter wait for spring. I've also been very happy with how my classes have been going (for the most part). My first paper for American History had me a bit nervous, as I very unwisely assumed I could leave it 'till the last minute, and I didn't think I did as well on it as I could have... to be honest, I thought it was awful. I just got it back last Thursday, and --surprise of surprises-- I got an A on it.

I'm starting to think Karia has a point when she tells me to calm down about these things. (Actually, I've been hearing that from a lot of people recently. They may have a point.)

I also got back my first paper for this semester of European History the other day. It was really fun to write-- the premise was a bit more complicated than this, but essentially, I got to blather on about the Enlightenment for 5-7 pages. Of course, being that the Enlightenment is my favorite time period, and I've managed to keep everything I learned about it in high school stuffed in my head, I had a lot of material to work from... so,  yes. My paper is ten pages long. And I could have written at least five pages more. And I'm definitely not going to let it get to my head. In any case, Professor Fraser writes really detailed comments, and for papers, she actually types out a separate page of comments. Personally, I think this is a brilliant system-- I wish all the professors would do that. But anyway. I now have a page of what is, essentially, her going on about... well. Here's what she said:

"Comments:



Natasha, this is excellent- not only for a first essay of the semester or for the level of analysis I expect for this introductory class, but as a proper historical essay that succeeds on a much higher level. You write very well, using clear, concise prose, and your analytical observations are astute and sophisticated. Your attention to chronology in these documents and how they compare to each other is very good, and you have shown an understanding of these documents that far exceeds my expectations at this level. Well done! I sense that you have even more going on in your brain than you could fit on the page, so throughout the semester, something you can work on is achieving even more succinctness and clarity with your arguments and examples. History writing can be particularly challenging because there is always so much we can include! I have no problem with the length of your essay here, but I think you can also work on conciseness and precision- and practicing the always difficult decision-making process about not only what should be included, but also what can be left out. I almost hate to give this grade on the first assignment of the semester, lest it indicate there is no room for improvement, but this really is very well done. Keep it up!


Grade: A "

Yep... I'm happy. Historic Preservation and Russian History are going just as well, though I wish I could say the same for Art History. It's not that I'm doing badly... I just don't have quite the same level of enthusiasm for it as I do for my other classes. I'm sure it's just the way this professor is teaching it, and that I'll be a lot happier once we get to the survey part of the class (where we actually learn history), but right now, we're just going over all the theoretical stuff. There really is a certain type of person who is cut out for it. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm one of them.

Ah well. I honestly cannot complain. Too many good things going on to be able to grumble because I have one class I'm slightly frustrated with.

Daria, my sister, visited the weekend before last! It was great to see her again... unfortunately, it turned out to be a really busy weekend for me in terms of work (both for class and for, you know, actual work), so we couldn't do anything interesting... I feel really bad about it. But I suppose that's the way things happens sometimes... next time, I'll have to make sure I have a enough free time to go around to museums and such. We did manage to get to the Paper Moon Diner, after a bit of an adventure in wandering around Baltimore at 7.00 in the evening, and Daria finally got to meet Kaira and Ellie, so I'm happy about that at least. (By the way, if you're reading this Daria: Kaira and Ellie say "hello.") We also went to see a friend of mine play at the Gopher Hole (the bar/coffee shop of Goucher campus), which was really fun. And... that's about it. I'm a very boring older sister. (Sorry.)

Speaking of work... I've been looking to get another job, since I'm now only working at the stables on the weekends, and at a really inconvenient time too. I wouldn't mind that, if it were a job that was actually helping my resume, or my major, or my education in general, but... well. Feeding horses doesn't do any of those things. So I'm looking into getting a job at the library for next semester (or for the remainder of this one, if possible). If I do get a job for this semester, the hours are likely to be a little odd, as the library is open 24/7, and nobody really wants the 3am-6am shift... but if it gets me time to do my work on the weekends, I'm happy.

Anyway... that's about it for now. It's been pretty dull around here, to be honest. I've been rather slowly working on A History of the English Speaking Peoples, by Winston Churchill. I'm about halfway through Volume II (so just around the Spanish Armada), and I'm hoping to read The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco, after Volume III... so I'll be needing book suggestions for this April-May. Ideas, anyone?

My love to all,
Tasha

ps. I've had a lot of Edward Elgar running through my head lately as well.

Letters and Maps

Well. I got a very exciting letter yesterday evening... I would have gotten it earlier, I assume, if I had thought to check my mail box more than once a week.

It reads:

"Dear Natasha,


Congratulations on making the Dean's List during the Fall semester of the 2010-11 academic year. I hope you are proud of your success; you deserve to be.


As you know, Goucher College has always held academic achievement as its highest goal. Your accomplishments send a clear message that you have embraced this goal too, and I commend you for your hard work and dedication to learning. 


I hope that you will continue your good work and enjoy the satisfaction that comes from doing your best. If there is anything that I can do to assist you with academic matters, please let me know.


Sincerely,


Mark M. Roy
Provost"

So... as you can imagine, I spent the majority of last night bouncing slightly and grinning like an idiot. (And reading for my Russian/Soviet History class, but that's part of the daily schedule at this point.)

Other than that... not much to say. I spent most of today outside, either at work, or taking little walks in the woods. It was surprisingly warm: in the high 40s F... it felt like early Spring. To me, at least... Kaira is still convinced that she'll freeze to death if she steps outside for more time than it takes to walk to class and back. It was just so beautiful, though... I was sort of traipsing around the woods, singing The Lord of the Rings songs to myself, and I'm sure that would have been a strange sight to walk in on, so I'm glad nobody had that experience.

(And since I'm on the subject, I just discovered the Tolkien Ensemble. For those of us who are interested in that sort of geeky stuff, their version of Sam's Song in the Orc Tower has got to be my favorite so far. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoVnWUQ9CR8))

Anyway... it was just... beautiful. Tolkien and the first instances of Spring weather (even when it is in February, and it probably won't be warm again until April) tend to stir up those sort of sentimental feelings in me. Don't mind that.

Well. Until next time,

Tasha

ps. It just occurred to me that I'm going to be 19 in a bit more than two months. A bit early to be thinking about that, I'm sure, but... goodness. The further past 16 I get, the more concerned I become that I'm just not ready to be this old. I'm currently reading Notes of a Red Guard, which is about a man who lived through (and was very involved in) the Russian Revolution. He was economically independent from his parents by the time he was 16. (In fact, he was making twice as much money as his father was by that age...)

...irrational? Maybe. But I still can't help but feel somewhat inadequate.

pps. Also, I've finally finished unpacking all my things. Which means that I've finally finished putting up all my maps, including a French map of Colonial America, and another following Lewis and Clark's route to the Pacific and back. My happiness about this is highly disproportionate to the actual accomplishment.

Good news for Oliver Cromwell...

...bad news for Christmas puddings everywhere. Just in case you were wondering, on this day (30 January) in 1649, Charles I was executed, leaving power in the hands of the Rump Parliament and Oliver Cromwell.

It's also the day on which, in 1972, The Bogside Massacre (more commonly known as "Bloody Sunday") took place in Northern Ireland. Supposedly, the annual marches on the date are stopping after this year.

But anyway. What is is somewhat more relevant to this blog is that I have now not posted in about a month.

...sorry 'bout that. It's been busy.

Well, first things first.

I ended up in Mallorca with my Mum for about a week during my holiday, and it was wonderful. I got to see my godfather, and friends that we haven't seen in a rather long time. I've included a few of the pictures, but I have a more detailed slideshow I've put together for my old European History professor that I can send. If you're interested, let me know, and I'll email it to you.

In any case, I got back to Goucher about a week ago. It's nice to be back... especially since we've had our share of snow delays and snow days.

So, that's been interesting.

And, of course, I've started my new classes! My Soviet/20th Century Russian History class and my European History class are taught by the same professor, and she seems very good. She's relatively young, Canadian, and her research is in 20th century Russian history-- particularly soldier's lives and masculinity. So, it's nice to be in a class that is all about what she's researching. And European History is European History. Not much to say about that, except that we're getting into my favorite time period just now: The Enlightenment, and the earliest revolutions that followed it (American and French).

I've only had one American History class so far, because of the snow delays and snow days, but... well. It should be interesting. I haven't taken an American History course in... well. About a year and a half. And if familiarity with the events described in the textbook are any indication, I remember less of it than I thought I did. A bit disturbing, I'll admit, but I'm not too worried. We're just past Queen Anne's War (begun in 1702; ended in 1713 with the Peace of Utrecht), and to be honest, we never really went over much of what happened before then in AP American History in high school, so, it's to be expected. It seems like it's going to be a good class, though. I'm excited about it.

Unfortunately, I'm a bit less enthusiastic about Art History, after my first class on Friday. It's not so much the subject so much as the professor that is the issue: she handed out a "syllabus," which isn't really a syllabus. It says we're going to have assignments, and what they will be: it doesn't way when they are due. It doesn't say when readings and minor projects are due. It doesn't even say when we'll be covering what material. The professor herself said that we probably wouldn't get through the entire course, but "not to worry," because she won't test us on anything we don't get to. Honestly... I don't care about what she's gonna test us on and what she's not. I'm there to be learning the material. The fact that she doesn't know how much of it she's going to teach us is really... well. It bothers me. A lot. And we had better cover everything the course is meant to, because if we don't get to Renaissance art, I'm going to be very disappointed.

And then, of course, I have the next Historic Preservation class, and it is tiny. Really. There are eight people in the class, including me and the professor. That is going to be, I think, really nice, but it could also be a bit annoying, since I'm now expected to hold up an entire 1/8th of the conversation. (Not that I couldn't-- I just tend to be rather shy, as most of you will know.) It doesn't help that four of the students in the class are seniors, majoring in either History or American Studies. One is a sophomore majoring in International Relations, and the other is a freshman who actually lives on my floor, so... anyway. I'm feeling a bit nervous about this class. It's sort of intimidating to be sitting around the table with a bunch of people who know exactly what they're talking about, when I'm still just learning most of the material.

I'm sure it will be fine, though. I had the same professor for my first Historic Preservation class last semester, and I'm rather fond of her.

Speaking of professors that I'm rather fond of... one of my best friends here, Ellie, is taking Anthro 107 with my old Anthropology professor! So now there's somebody else who thinks he's fantastic. It's not just me. (Yes, that comment was intended for somebody in particular.)

Also speaking of professors that I'm rather fond of, I ran into my old European History professor the other day while heading to Art History. Nothing really happened, except that we talked, she told me about a British History class she's teaching at Johns Hopkins next year that I should take, and I told her I would stop by and visit her soon, but... it was just really nice to see her.

...and that's about all I can think of. I'll write again very soon.

Love to all,
Tasha


ps. I just have to add... I've been working on Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond, and... wow. I can't say much more than that. Just... wow.